I’m Learning to Make Myself Proud Instead of Everyone Else 💜

Because maybe I don’t need everyone else’s approval to feel like I’m doing enough.

Can I admit something?

I’ve spent a lot of my life worrying about making other people proud.

My parents.

My boss.

People online.

Even complete strangers who probably don’t think twice about me. 🙃

And somewhere along the way, I started measuring my worth by how other people saw me.

If someone complimented me, I felt good.

If someone seemed disappointed, I immediately wondered what I’d done wrong.

But here’s something I’ve been asking myself lately.

When was the last time I actually felt proud of myself?

Not because someone told me I did a good job.

Not because I accomplished something impressive.

Just because I recognized how far I’ve come.

I Forget to Give Myself Credit

I’m 30, working in retail, building my own creative business, and still figuring out what I want to do with my life.

Sometimes I look around and wonder if I’m doing enough.

Should I have a better career by now?

Should my business be more successful?

Am I actually accomplishing anything?

My anxious brain certainly has opinions. 😂

But when I really think about it, I’ve accomplished more than I give myself credit for.

I’ve worked hard at my job.

I’ve kept up with my car payments.

I’ve built websites, created digital products, designed apps, and taught myself skills I never imagined I’d learn.

And I’ve continued showing up through some pretty difficult moments.

Why do I keep acting like none of that counts?

I’m Tired of Trying to Prove Myself

I think part of my struggle is that I’ve always wanted people to see that I’m trying.

That I’m hardworking.

That I’m capable.

That even if my life doesn’t look like everyone else’s, I’m doing something meaningful.

But constantly trying to prove myself is exhausting.

Especially when I already struggle with anxiety, overthinking, and putting too much pressure on myself.

Sometimes I push myself so hard that I forget I’m allowed to rest.

And even when I accomplish something, my brain immediately moves on to what I should be doing next.

It’s like there’s always another imaginary finish line.

And I’m starting to realize that I don’t want to live that way.

Maybe Being Proud of Myself Can Look Different

I’m learning that making myself proud doesn’t always mean accomplishing something big.

Sometimes it’s going to work when I’m having a difficult day.

Sometimes it’s setting a boundary.

Sometimes it’s finishing a creative project I’ve been putting off.

And sometimes it’s recognizing that I’m exhausted and actually allowing myself to rest.

I’m not always going to get praise or validation from other people.

And honestly, I can’t control how everyone sees me.

But I can start changing how I see myself.

I can be proud of the girl who keeps trying.

The one who’s building something of her own.

The one who hasn’t figured everything out but hasn’t stopped learning, either.

I’m still working on it.

I still crave reassurance sometimes.

I still worry about disappointing people.

And I definitely still question whether I’m doing enough.

But maybe I don’t need to become some completely different, more successful version of myself to finally feel proud.

Maybe I just need to appreciate the person I already am.

I’m 30. I’m still figuring life out. And I’m learning that my own approval matters, too.

Just another 30-something doing her best-ish. 💜

And today, I’m choosing to give myself a little credit.

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A little question for you: Do you ever find it easier to recognize everyone else’s accomplishments than your own?

This reflection is adapted from my original post, Learning to Make Myself Proud (Instead of Everyone Else), on AbbyJuli Diaries.