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Maybe Softness Runs in Families
Some things quietly run in families without anyone ever officially passing them down. Not recipes.Not heirlooms.Not old photographs. But softness. The way we care for animals.The way we notice tiny paws and quiet companionship.The way certain pets leave permanent little paw prints on our hearts long after they’re gone. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my gram. She was a huge cat lady — the real kind. Not in the cliché way people joke about online, but in the sweetest, softest way. The kind of person who treated her cats like family because to her, they truly were family. One of them was a tuxedo cat named Fifi, and somehow that…
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Maybe This Is My Season of Undoing, Not Doing More
Because apparently, even resting feels like something I need to accomplish. I’ve spent so much of my life trying to keep up. Keep up with work.Keep up with responsibilities.Keep up with my creative projects.Keep up with everyone else’s expectations. And somewhere along the way, I think I forgot how to just… exist. Without feeling guilty about it. I recently came across the idea of a season of undoing, inspired by something Allison Lyons shared, and it really stuck with me. Because what if this chapter of my life isn’t about doing more? What if it’s about unlearning everything that convinced me I wasn’t doing enough in the first place? The World…
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Welp, It’s Official. #ByeInstagram 👋
It’s not you, Instagram. It’s me. Okay, maybe it’s a little you. Welp. It’s official. After years of posting, rebranding, trying again, questioning myself, and wondering if the algorithm secretly has a personal vendetta against me… I’m finally giving up on Instagram. And honestly? It’s a little bittersweet. Instagram and I practically grew up together. I created my first account back in 2014, during my senior year of high school. You know, back when Instagram was actually about sharing photos? When you could post a random picture of your dog, your coffee, a sunset, or literally whatever you wanted, and the people who followed you would actually SEE it? Remember…
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I Didn’t Choose Art. Art Chose Me
How creativity found me in my darkest moments and became the way I learned to express what I couldn’t say out loud. I’ve always said that I didn’t choose art. Art chose me. And I don’t mean that in some magical, everything-fell-into-place kind of way. I mean that art found me when I was in a really dark place. When I didn’t have the words to explain what was happening inside my head. When I was desperately trying to hide parts of myself that were slowly finding their way to the surface. Before I started creating self-care resources, writing mental health reflections, designing things, or building my own little creative…
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Being an Adult Is Basically Being a Permanently Exhausted Pigeon
We grew up watching Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Too bad nobody made an adulthood version. Remember when we were kids in the 90s and thought adults had everything figured out? They knew how to pay bills, make appointments, cook dinner, manage money, and somehow keep an entire household functioning. I genuinely thought that when I became an adult, all this knowledge would just magically appear in my brain. Like, congratulations! You’re 18! Here’s your official adulthood handbook. Spoiler alert: THERE IS NO HANDBOOK. I’m now 30, and I’ve come to the conclusion that adulthood is basically being a permanently exhausted pigeon. Just wandering around, trying to survive, occasionally finding…
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I’m 30, and I’m Finally Learning That Saying No Doesn’t Make Me Selfish 💜
Growing up meant learning to make everyone happy. Healing is teaching me that my happiness matters, too. Can I admit something? I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of my life worrying about disappointing people. Saying yes when I really wanted to say no. Taking on extra responsibilities when I was already exhausted. And feeling guilty whenever I put my own needs first. Because somewhere along the way, I started believing that being a good person meant always being available. Apparently, my younger self thought having boundaries was against the rules. 🙃 We Were Taught to Push Through Everything Growing up as a millennial, I feel like there was always this expectation to…
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We Were Taught to Respect Our Elders Before We Were Taught to Respect Ourselves
Another 3 AM thought from a 30-something who’s still figuring out boundaries, people-pleasing, and this whole adulthood thing. Growing up as a millennial, I remember hearing one particular phrase over and over again. “Respect your elders.” And with that came a whole list of unwritten rules. Be polite. Don’t talk back. Don’t question adults. Don’t make a scene. Keep the peace. And whatever you do, don’t be disrespectful. We were taught to respect our parents, teachers, bosses, and pretty much anyone older than us. But somewhere along the way, I think we missed an important lesson. What about respecting ourselves? When Did Respect Become Staying Quiet? I don’t think teaching…
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I Lost Pieces of Myself, but I’m Slowly Rebuilding 💜
Sometimes starting over isn’t about getting your old life back. It’s about discovering who you’re becoming. I’ve been thinking about how much my life has changed over the years. And honestly? Sometimes I barely recognize the person I used to be. There were moments when I felt like I had lost so much. My confidence. My motivation. My sense of direction. Even parts of my creativity that once made me feel like myself. Between anxiety, grief, mental health struggles, mistakes, and unexpected setbacks, there were times when I wondered if I’d ever feel like me again. And the hardest part? Life doesn’t exactly come with a reset button. Believe me,…
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Why I Started This Substack (Because Apparently One Blog Wasn’t Enough)
30-something, overthinking, creating, and still figuring out this whole internet thing. I’ve been blogging for years. I’ve created websites, redesigned them, changed my mind about layouts approximately a million times, and spent way too many hours trying to figure out SEO. And guess what? I still haven’t figured it all out. I have my main blog, AbbyJuli.com, where I share mental wellness resources, personal experiences, creative projects, and longer blog posts. And I’m keeping it! But lately, I’ve wanted to get back to something a little simpler. Something that feels more like the old days of blogging, when people shared their thoughts without worrying about keywords, algorithms, or whether their content…
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I’m Learning to Make Myself Proud Instead of Everyone Else 💜
Because maybe I don’t need everyone else’s approval to feel like I’m doing enough. Can I admit something? I’ve spent a lot of my life worrying about making other people proud. My parents. My boss. People online. Even complete strangers who probably don’t think twice about me. 🙃 And somewhere along the way, I started measuring my worth by how other people saw me. If someone complimented me, I felt good. If someone seemed disappointed, I immediately wondered what I’d done wrong. But here’s something I’ve been asking myself lately. When was the last time I actually felt proud of myself? Not because someone told me I did a good…
Everyone solves their life issues at 3AM right?!